Have the Ceremony Your Marriage has Earned
Most weddings are beautiful. Many of them have very little to do with the marriage that follows.
The words spoken at the altar are chosen before you know what you’re choosing. The symbols are inherited before you understand what they mean to you. The ceremony reflects the relationship you imagined rather than the one you’ve actually built, which is, in most cases, considerably more interesting and worth living within.
This package is for couples who are ready to give their actual marriage a ceremony worthy of it.
A real reckoning with what you’ve built together, what it cost, what it revealed about both of you, and what you’re consciously choosing to carry forward. The mythology you’ve been living inside your marriage, named clearly enough that you can decide what stays and what gets left behind.
There is something that becomes possible between two people when they can name their stories to each other honestly. The programs that have been running quietly in the background, finally spoken aloud in the presence of someone who chose you already knowing them, that’s a new kind of intimacy. And it has the power to substantially change what comes next.
Our work together will be secular, psychologically grounded, and rooted in some of the oldest symbolic languages we have. No supernatural belief system (or lack thereof) required. Just the willingness to look honestly at what is actually true about the stories that make up your life together.
The Aspects of this Work:
Session One
Retrospective Myth Mapping: We begin with your individual charts and the relational archetypes each of you brought into this marriage, not as a portrait of who you were supposed to be, but as a starting point for looking at what actually unfolded. Which patterns played out exactly as the map suggested. Which surprised you. Which ones you’ve had to work through together, and which ones are still working through you.
From there we move into the fuller conversation. The parts you’re proud of and the parts that were hard. The ways you’ve grown and the dynamics you’ve had to navigate. The version of each other you actually know, earned through years of real life rather than what you imagined at the altar.
You are already the foremost experts on your own marriage. This session doesn’t tell you what your relationship is. It offers a language precise enough that you can tell each other, and me, what it has actually been, with enough clarity to choose it again, deliberately and with open eyes. The shared principles you’ve developed through lived experience that deserve to be named and honored. This session makes the ceremony possible because it clarifies exactly what you’re committing to.
Session Two
Secular Sacred Ceremony Design: We craft the ceremony itself from everything we’ve uncovered together. The words, the structure, the symbolic containers that will hold this moment. Built entirely from the truth of your specific marriage; its history, its rhythms, its particular quality of devotion. I can officiate, or I can hand the work we’ve done to someone dear to you. Either way, what happens will mean something precisely, specifically, and entirely yours.
I’m ordained within the tradition of Atheopaganism, a nontheistic framework that understands ritual as meaning-making rather than divine transaction. I don’t ask you to adopt a belief system. I invite you into deliberate authorship of your commitment.
We can plan for me to officiate your ceremony if we connect in a way that makes that feel like it makes sense as we do the work together, we can pass what we’ve designed to a special person of your choosing, or you may author a ceremony in your work with me that doesn’t require any officiant beyond yourselves.
This work offered on a sliding scale of $200-400
If $200 feels like a genuine stretch you’re willing to make because this work matters to you, that’s your number.
If $200 feels comfortable and $300 feels like an honest reflection of what you’re receiving, that’s your number.
If you’d pay $300 without really feeling it, the price you’re paying should match the seriousness with which you’re approaching this work, and $400 is your number.
I’m looking for couples who are joyfully choosing this work, and with the intent to honestly and vulnerably engage with the process. The number you choose is the first small act of committing to this journey we will take together.
Reach out here to start a conversation about working together: